Man Hates Society, Gets Tattoo of Own Face on Backside of Head to Avoid Talking to People

Old "Fire Crotch" Ferguson always hated talking to people. One day he came up with a great idea to get a tattooed image of his face inked on the back of his head so he would never have to turn around to look at anyone that was talking to him. He could just ignore them and they would supposedly be none the wiser. He also shaved his hair so that it would complement the eyes and mustache of the tattooed face. To his delight -- it worked... well, sort of. In the end, people just ended up ignoring him completely because he's such a fucking wierdo to have tattooed his own face on the reverse of his head.

Fire Crotch became so isolated from society that he couldn't stand it anymore. How had his quest to become a loner back-fired on him so ironically? In an effort to become part of the community again, Ferguson decided to get the tattoo removed. After the procedure was complete, he had a difficult time adjusting to people again as they had grown accustomed to talking to the back of his head that they continued to do so, regardless of the tattoo having been removed.

This went on for weeks. In the end, in an effort to utilize reverse psychology, Ferguson ended up getting plastic surgery done to the front of his face to make it completely smooth, so it was similar to the backside of his head. His head looked like the top of a giant penis. Ferguson was the talk of the town for weeks.